The Devil Made Me Do It

Brothahs and sistahs, Ah come befaw you today in deep, deep shame. Ah say to you good people that Ah have seen the light. Yes, brothahs and sistahs, you see befaw you a changed man. No more will Ah be at the mercy of sinners with their wicked ways, because Ah'm gonna hop in my rental cah with the temporary insurance policy and Ah'm gonna drive to the next town and the next and so on until Ah convince every last one of you good people to renounce yaw wicked ways and boldly stand in the light showing the way to the future. What is that light, you ask? Why, brothahs and sistahs, it's the bringer of life and the shiner of light.

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At the end of this little talk, Ah want us to sing Ah Saw the Light, because, brothahs and sistahs, it's a song of joy. It's a song of affirmation. It's a song for those who saw the light of reason and got themselves a temporary cah insurance policy like my own. It's the light of a brand new day, ladies and gentlemen, a day in which no one evah has to wondah how they'll get to Aunt Em's house for the family reunion. They won't wondah, brothahs and sistahs, becaws they'll be able to rent a cah, insure it and carry all that potato salad to the reunion safe and sound.

No more will our young perish from want of a job when they can temporarily cover a cah and go get themselves a job. No more will our women be unable to carry Uncle Jesse to the doctah becaws we have the truck at work. They shall rent a cah, insure it and Uncle Jesse shall enjoy the fruits of his old age in a healthy way. No more will our brothahs and sistahs have no way to carry the word to those in the field toiling in the hot sun. For they shall have an insured cah in which they can bring the light of a brand new day to those in the fields.

Ah say to you now, brothahs and sistahs, that we shine the light on those in dahkness. We need to tell everybody we see the good news and help them to understand how to get this way to the future. We need to be sleepless in our efforts to show our brethren how easy it is to get temporary cah insurance. Now, if y'all rise, we'll sing Ah Saw the Light and by the way, if you'd save me some of that bahbecue out back, would you please?

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